tarot and anxiety: how to use the cards when you’re a mess

tarot and anxiety: how to use the cards when you're a mess

I’ve spoken a little before about my issues with anxiety in the past, and while I’m always finding new ways to cope with it, I can definitely say that it tries its darndest to make things tough for me. One thing I struggle with in particular is reading tarot when I’m feeling anxious. I feel like the anxiety completely clouds my perception of the cards and makes it really difficult to read them for myself, and in some cases can even make things worse – I mean, the Three of Swords when you’re already feeling iffy can be the nail in the coffin, you know? But of course, sometimes the things that make us anxious are the things we need guidance about the most! Over the past couple years as my anxiety has gotten worse, I’ve found a few little ways to make reading the tarot easier when I’m feeling like a hot mess. Here are some of the tips that have helped me get back on track and keep up my readings when my anxiety is at a high point!


1. Separate anxiety from intuition.

This is the biggest one for me. So many times I’ll draw a “negative” card and immediately jump to the worst conclusion instead of taking time to think about what the card could really mean for my situation. Of course, because the worst thing is what I thought of first, part of me panics and assumes that’s my intuition telling me something bad is going to happen. (Did that description make sense at all?) For example, I am petrified of planes. If I was doing a reading about an upcoming trip and drew the Death card, my immediate thought would be “I’m going to die in a plane crash” even though hello, Tarot 101, that is NOT usually what Death means!! But that’s not my intuition speaking – it’s my anxiety. Some ways I’ve found to distinguish the two are that for me, anxiety tends to be a more temporary feeling than intuition. I can sleep on an issue and feel less anxious about it in the morning, but in cases of intuition, my initial feeling stays with me. That’s not to say this is ALWAYS the case, so don’t let that freak you out more! You have to figure out what works best for you, but know that if you’re doing a reading on something you’re anxious about, your “intuitive” reading of the cards might not be your intuition at all. It’s okay to go into a reading knowing you’ll be relying on traditional keyword-type meanings of the cards if you don’t think you can trust your mental state at that moment.

2. Don’t read on fragile issues.

Another way to avoid the panic I mentioned above is to simply not do readings about things that make you anxious. I KNOW that drawing the Death card before getting on a plane will send me into a spiral of doom, so I don’t do readings right before I travel. If you really need guidance about an issue like this, have a reader you trust do it for you! It would be helpful if you told your reader up-front that you are sensitive to this issue and would appreciate some gentleness in the delivery of the reading. Sometimes that’s not a reader’s style, but I think there are always ways to deliver a hard message without sounding like a jerk or making it worse. Communicate with your reader beforehand to see if they could do this for you, and if not, find a reader who can! Everyone’s style is different, but there’s no shame in wanting a reading that won’t trigger your anxiety.

tarot and anxiety: how to use the cards when you're a mess

3. Get a friendly deck.

A lot of tarot decks out there have imagery that makes the “tougher” cards easier to bear. For example, the Happy Tarot is adorable – it’s hard to feel dread about pulling The Tower when it looks so cute! The Starchild Tarot is my favorite deck to use when I’m feeling anxious, as the imagery is all gorgeous and the language has been changed on a few of the cards to make them less harsh-sounding – for example, Death in this deck is “Transformation,” the Hanged Man is “Perspective,” the Devil is “Oppression,” etc. Call me a wimp if you want, but I know my own mental state and sometimes I truly just can’t handle the harsh truth. (When I can, though, I like to use the Wild Unknown!) Find a deck that you find soothing to look at no matter what. This will make those tough-love readings a little easier on you.

4. Choose your words wisely.

One way to be sure your reading doesn’t make your anxiety worse is to phrase your questions in a way that doesn’t allow for it. For example, instead of asking “What will happen on my upcoming trip?” (which, as mentioned above, allows for the possibility of an answer that will make you anxious), try asking “What should I focus on during this trip in order to make the most of it?” By rephrasing your question, you get an answer that GIVES you power instead of making you dread a possible outcome.

5.  Don’t feel guilty for seeing to your needs.

Above all, if you feel like drawing cards will only make your anxiety worse – don’t do it. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the middle of a daily challenge or if you’re trying to stick with reading the cards every day. You can always catch up on things like that later, but making yourself more anxious won’t solve any of your problems. If you’re still able to read for others, you could try doing that for your daily draw instead – ask a friend what they’d like some guidance about and pull a card for them. You’re still utilizing your skills, but in a way that doesn’t affect you at all. The most important thing is keeping yourself well, and if that means putting a pause on whatever you were doing that might make things worse for you, then you should do it.

These are just some things that have helped me to be able to read for myself when my mental state is in pieces. Thankfully this doesn’t happen to me too often these days, but if I’m ever in a bad spell again I know I can rely on these tips to get me through, without having to take a tarot break (as I’ve done in the past.)

Have you ever had a problem reading tarot when your anxiety is flaring up? How have you gotten around it in the past?

serenity now: my top 12 tips for overcoming anxiety

serenity now: my top 12 tips for overcoming anxiety

I’ve struggled with anxiety my entire life – I can even remember being kept awake at night as a young child, thinking about worst-case scenarios that were out of control. It only started really getting to me in recent years, though. Stress, life changes, and lack of sleep had turned a once-manageable condition into panic attacks and anxiety so strong it would prevent me from doing simple things like driving at night or going out with friends to a new place.

I had to find ways to manage my anxious moments, and while some of these tips might be the sort you see anywhere, some of them I’ve had to modify so they worked for me. Here are 12 things that I do when I’m feeling anxious or panicky, and I hope they work for you too ♥

1. Break the thought cycle by getting wrapped up in a book/movie/TV show.

Part of the reason my anxiety is so out of control is that once I start having anxious thoughts, it’s hard to stop myself! Getting lost in something entertainment is enough to give my brain a break, and I can come back to thinking about whatever I was worried about later with a clearer head.

2. Play a distracting game on your phone.

I’ve heard Neko Atsume is great for calming down, but the one I love is called 1010 – it’s like Tetris except the pieces don’t fall from the sky, you have to fit them together like a puzzle! I didn’t explain that super well, but just check it out – it’s free in the iTunes app store. I love it for taking my mind off of things.

3. Take a relaxing bath.

I love taking a bath and doing something pampering like a face mask or a manicure to calm myself down! Unfortunately, sometimes being alone in the bath with my thoughts is NOT helpful, so I usually combine this with #1 above and read or watch Netflix while I soak 🙂 Sometimes a glass of wine helps, too… but I definitely don’t encourage drinking your anxiety away – it’ll just be worse when you sober up!

4. Practice some breathing exercises.

I’ve read that if you inhale through your nose for four seconds, hold your breath for seven, and then exhale through your mouth for eight, and then repeat that a few times, it’s supposed to calm your body down. I think that you can sort of also do this by just taking deep breaths and really focusing on your breath, not the thoughts!

5. Meditation/Mindfulness

Similar to the breathing, meditation can do wonders for calming some of the physical symptoms of anxiety and panic disorder! I sometimes find it even harder than usual to meditate when my mind is whirling with anxious thoughts, but I know it works for a lot of people so I had to mention it. I have the Calm app on my phone and it’s nice for guided meditations. You could also try one of those mindfulness coloring books – I personally have this one (that’s an affiliate link, by the way) and it really does put you in sort of a calm, brain-turned-off state of mind!

6. Go for a walk outside.

Fresh air really can be a miracle worker sometimes! Not much else to say about this one 🙂

7. Take a nap.

This might not make your worries go away, but sometimes for me it serves as a reset and when I wake up I can come back to whatever I was worried about with a clear look.

8. Use some essential oils.

Whether you put some in your bath, rub them on your skin (be sure you’re using the kind that’s safe for that and you’re not allergic!) or put them in an oil burner/diffuser, there are some essential oils that are great for soothing anxiety. Lavender is of course the most well-known one, but some others are frankincense, chamomile, and ylang ylang.

9. Tidy your space.

A cluttered space can sometimes make you feel even more anxious! Tidying up always helps me relax – I can think more clearly in an organized space and the mess isn’t stressing me out.

10. Talk to a friend.

Even if I’m freaking out about nothing and I know my concerns sound silly, sometimes just talking it through with a friend is enough to calm me down! It’s like “ahh, okay, someone else knows that I’m worried about this.” It feels like you’re sharing the burden a little, and sometimes your friend can help you realize that your concerns are just your anxiety blowing things out of proportion.

11. Write it all down.

Make a list of everything you’re thinking about. This could be in journal form or bullet points, but writing down all of the worries you have helps me relax a little – it’s like I don’t have to keep those things whirling around in my brain because they’re all on paper where I can see it.

12. Make a plan.

So much of my anxiety comes from situations that feel like they’re out of my control, but what helps me a lot of the time is planning out what I would do if my worst-case scenario actually DOES happen. Finding little things I can do to eliminate risks or make things go more smoothly makes me feel less scared, and sometimes thinking “okay, so what would I do if this DOES happen?” helps me realize that really, even my worst-case scenario isn’t the end of the world!

P.S. I’m running a giveaway for a snail-mail tarot reading over on Instagram – check it out!

 How do you deal with anxiety or anxious feelings?