I really, really didn’t want to write about the election this week. We’re all tired of reading about it and so many of us are exhausted, scared, frustrated, and just plain pissed off at the results. I didn’t want to add to that, but I think we’re all feeling a little lost right now and if there’s anything I can say that might help, I want to say it.

First of all, my friends who are PoC, women, immigrants (legal or illegal), LGBTQ+, Muslim, and anyone else who has reason to be afraid right now – I see you. I’m so sorry this country failed you. I’m so sorry we didn’t do more to make sure you were safe, but I promise we will fight for you. The majority of this country did not vote for Trump. We need to remember that this was SUCH a close race – many people voted for Hillary, many people voted third-party, and an overwhelming number of people were so disenfranchised by our political system that they didn’t vote at all. The bigots had one figure to unite them; the sensible people were split. This is not an unwinnable fight. The numbers are on our side – we just have to stand together.

Before we can do that, though, we need to take a moment to recover – to grieve, to put ourselves first, to feel all the anger and fear and hopelessness that’s sweeping half the nation right now. I’ve come up with a few ways that might help you deal if you’re overwhelmed and feeling pretty bleak right now.

1. Check out for a while

The solidarity that’s pouring out on the Internet right now is truly heartening, but social media can also act as an echo chamber in times like this – all of the emotions out there are being reflected back and forth, gaining momentum and picking up speed. For some people, venting on social media is a way to cope and that’s fine! But if you feel like the negativity is invading your news feed, it’s okay to log off for a while. Sometimes you need some distance in order to process on your own terms. It’ll all still be there waiting for you when you get back.

2. Let it all out

Scream, cry, journal like crazy, smash a plate (but not, like, an expensive plate.) Do whatever it takes to let your feelings out. Talk to a friend, rant on LiveJournal (because it’s 2006), call your mom – whatever you need to do to give voice to your feelings and let them out. I always feel better after talking to someone, but you can type it all up into a Word doc and never show anyone if that’s more your thing. The important part is that you’re acknowledging your feelings and giving yourself a way to work through them.

3. Self-care, self-care, self-care

Now more than ever, you need to practice some self-care. We all expended so much energy, effort, worry, and stress in this election cycle, and now that it’s over, we still have a long fight ahead of us. Take all the time you need to regroup. That might mean not watching the news for a few days and taking long, hot bubble baths, or escaping in a good book, or focusing on your hobbies, or turning inward and doing some soul work. Turn your brain off for a while. It’s okay to not get right back in the field – there will be time for that later. You can be a better ally, a better activist, if you’re stable and secure in your own life, so take time to sort out your personal priorities and issues that might need taking care of. Most importantly, though, take care of yourself.

4. Focus on what you can do

That’s not to say we should gloss over the horrifying implications this election has for our country and the world, but if we spend all our time on worst-case scenarios, that’s a one-way trip to hopelessness and despair. There IS hope. Focus on the ways you can make a difference, whether that’s learning how to be a better ally, how to organize a protest, causes you can donate to, or campaigns you can volunteer with. If you Google “activist organizations in (your area),” you can find some local ways to get involved with the causes you care about. This isn’t the time to give up – this is the time to push forward.

5. Be kind

So many people are suffering today. Be kind whenever you can. Find a way to find compassion for those who voted differently than you did – some of them were guided by some truly terrible ideals, but writing off half the country as monsters instead of people severely limits what we can do. We have to believe that people can change. We can’t kick out half the country. It’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to feel everything you’re feeling – but every person in the world can use more kindness. If you have the energy, try to spread some good.

Above all, stay safe and take care. Don’t give in to hopelessness. As terrifying and uncertain as our future is right now, things WILL get better. No one in the history of time has ever successfully stopped change. Progress is happening all the time, and this is the last stand for those who oppose it. But they won’t win. We will. We have each other and so much fierce love, and that can achieve so much more than their petty hatred ever could.

I love you and I’m here. I’m not giving up. Let’s win this thing.