So something I’ve talked a little about in the past is the fact that self-love has really been an ongoing journey for me. I was always the chubby kid growing up and the bullies were relentless in grade school, and that affected my self-esteem for a loooong time after that. Add to that a crappy relationship that made me feel totally crappy and issues with food and body image that sprung up in college and I can honestly say that when graduation rolled around, I was a total mess.

It was right around that time that I started really delving into my spirituality and I can honestly say, I’ve come SUCH a long way towards self-love and self-acceptance since then. While some days I really still struggle with body image and food issues, I can feel that I’m on the path to total healing and it feels amazing. I’m so proud of how far I’ve come in the past few years and who I’m turning out to be!

A few of the spiritual and self-help books I’ve encountered over the past few years have really, really changed the way I view myself. Today I’m going to walk you through the 5 books that have helped me the most with facing my demons, understanding who I am, and loving and caring for that person. (Because we can all use a little more self-love, right?)

(As always, Amazon links are affiliate links! They’re not sponsored – it just means that if you order something, I make a tiny commission at no extra cost to you. Thanks for supporting Lavender Moon ♥)

1. The Soul Searcher’s Handbook by Emma Mildon

This might seem like an odd choice to start out with, since it’s not really a self-help book, but hear me out: my healing began when I discovered that I was a spiritual person after all. For years I had completely shut down that part of myself and wrote off everything from meditation to crystals as being too ~woo~. The Soul Searcher’s Handbook breaks down a TON of different ways to be spiritual and practice spirituality, from yoga to meditation to reiki to auras and basically any kind of magical thing you see on Instagram. It ranks them on a “woo scale” from most to least woo, which made me smile – I felt that since the book was poking fun at itself a little bit, it was easier for me to take it seriously when coming from a skeptic’s point of view, kind of like “I know what you’re thinking, but hear me out.” If you’re feeling a pull towards spirituality but you aren’t sure what works for you or how to do any of it, or even if you’re just wanting to read about what all is out there, I HIGHLY recommend this book! It’s witty and well put-together and makes big concepts a lot more accessible.

2. 108 Days of Sacred by Elle North

Okay, confession time: I have never gotten through a straight 108 days using this book. I suck!! But holy crap, this book is huge and it is intense. Elle does a similar thing to the book above, where she breaks down bigger concepts like meditation and yoga into smaller chunks, but she goes a step further and gives you a different task to do each day to help you cultivate a spiritual practice in your life, in actions. The book offers space to reflect after each day’s task, and by the end of 108 days you should have a good working knowledge of yoga breathing techniques, mudras, sacred space, crystals, and so much more. I was a little skeptical of the price at first, but this book is ENORMOUS and beautifully illustrated and I’m totally and completely happy that I purchased it. One of these days I’m going to make it through all 108 in a row. One day!!

3. Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

I wanted to read this book so bad that I made my whole book club read it. They all liked it though so that’s okay. I was probably the last person in the world to the Brene Brown party, but WOW does this woman get it. Daring Greatly is about the importance of being vulnerable, in your relationships, at work, in your friendships, in your parenting, and more. When I read the description I wasn’t sure how it was going to be relevant to me (“vulnerable” isn’t exactly a term I use in my everyday life) but everything she said hit SO home with me and cracked me wide freaking open. This book really helped me come to terms with a lot of aspects of my personality and understand why I’m afraid of the social interactions I’m afraid of. It helped me accept myself and understand where other people might be coming from in their own interactions – it sheds such a light on the world around you. Basically, read it. It will make you more aware of your own needs and the needs of others.

4. Radical Self-Love by Gala Darling

Once you’ve found your spiritual side and come to terms with your emotions, it’s time to get your self-love on! This book has SO many tips for how to love yourself and stay true to who you are in so many situations, from relationships to your everyday life. It tells you how to manifest the life you want and how to get past the barriers that stand in the way of you loving yourself. I really enjoy that she gives you so many little ways to practice self-love in your daily life, because sometimes it’s hard to remember to make time for it – but like anything else, practice makes perfect!

5. Goddess Revolution by Mel Wells

I might do a more in-depth review of this book later, actually. This one is the book I read most recently and the one currently rocking my world, and also the one I was the most skeptical of at the start. Basically, this is a book about why you need to stop dieting if you ever want to be at peace with yourself and with food. My weight-related issues have plagued me for YEARS and I can tell it’s going to be a long, long struggle to finally be free of them, but this book introduced me to the concept of intuitive eating and made me start paying attention to what my body REALLY wants. It also made me examine some of the fear-based behaviors I have around food, like wanting to STUFF MYSELF WITH JUNK on the weekends instead of just eating till I’m full, and I really feel like I’m on the right path. It surprised me what my body is actually craving when I think I want junk food all the time – I crave healthy food a lot more often than junk when I take the time to listen!

Basically while no one book will suddenly make you love yourself, I think that these five target important areas of your life – spirituality, nourishment, and self – and if you can try to approach those areas of your life in a wholehearted way, it makes self-love so much easier. When you feed your body what it wants and do what you can to support it, you appreciate all it does for you and you find love in that. When you accept your emotions for what they are instead of trying to fight them, you find love in all they allow you to feel and be. When you embrace your spiritual practice, you find that you are a part of something much bigger than yourself and you find love in that, too. Learning to love and embrace who you are is a seriously hard process – it’s a battle every day in this world, where everywhere you look the messages you get from society are trying to bring you down! But at the end of the day, self-love is about YOU, not about what other people think of you. As long as you’re willing to work at it, you can win. (But if you need the encouragement, just send me a message and I will compliment you till the cows come home because if you’re reading my stuff, I think you’re super rad!!)

Have you read any great books lately? Let me know in the comments, I’m always looking for more things to add to my cart on Amazon when I’ve had a little too much wine and then “accidentally” hit the checkout button read! ♥

P.S. If you’re looking for a little self-love guidance, I happen to offer a tarot reading that’s all about how to overcome your blocks and learn to love yourself in my shop! Use the code “SAMHAIN31” for 31% off until Halloween! 🙂